Manga scholar. Basketball Zero lobby dweller. Professional document scanner. Survivor of absolutely nothing.
Daily alarm: 4:00 PM Eastern
Kyle is a recent avid listener to Kanye West's first album. He loves to constantly read manga and watch anime while hanging out with his friends and phasing them out at the same time. He also loves to sit in the Basketball Zero lobby and proceed to either AFK or use it as a chat room with British and Japanese women.
In his free time, he enjoys sleeping till 4 PM and heavily researching how to create the next successful side gig he saw on Instagram. His most recent success is a companion bot that he proceeded to sell to third world countries and senior centers for love and affection.
Kyle is a professional document scanner while protecting the confidentiality of his clients and loan acquisitions.
One party. One giant Kyle. Dozens of spilled drinks. Based on true events that everyone has agreed to never talk about again. Now playing in zero theaters nationwide.
I also survived Kyle McGaff.Everyone who was there
Lost a star because the bar stools never recovered.The bar stools
I was asleep until 4 PM so I missed it.Kyle
Kyle made his Slap League debut at the Gaff. His opponent? His own mom. He won the match and lost his invite on the same night. The chalk is still in the carpet.
Threw a slice of pizza at a girl while wearing the black mask. The mask was supposed to be a disguise. Everyone knew it was Kyle.
Zero customers. One bartender. One Kyle. Somehow he still almost got thrown out. Experts are still studying how.
Dressed up as a nun for Halloween. Fully committed. Blessed the whole party. Was still banned from the Gaff.
A spoiled burger lived in his room for about 8 months and grew its own mold colony. It had more growth than any of his side gigs.
Showers roughly once every 3 days.
Goes to the bank at 5 in the morning. He hasn't slept yet. Deposits one unemployment check and leaves.
Calls every smoke shop owner brother. Has never once learned a name. Has bought enough bongs and pipes to open his own shop.
14 airsoft guns and counting. Snipers, rifles, pistols. All orange tipped. All bought instead of textbooks.
| Course | Notes | Grade |
|---|---|---|
| Intro to Showing Up | Never showed up | F |
| Midterm 2 | 23/100. "See me. Please." | F |
| Final Exam | 12/100. Wrote "manga" on every answer | F |
| Japanese (self taught) | Learned entirely from anime | A+ |
| Robux Management | Down to R$ 3 | D |
Absences this semester: 14 (and counting, live)
Kyle's Scanning Co. accepts payment in cash, Robux, Dunkin' gift cards, and unemployment checks.
Lonely? Need love and affection? KyleBot is here for you, 24/7, unlike Kyle, who is here for you after 4 PM.
Powered by 1,412 manga volumes of training data and one very long Basketball Zero lobby chat.